To Be A Great Man
by ana22
Summary: This story begins during Flashes Before Your Eyes and focuses on the growing attraction between Desmond and Claire. Hints of Shayid and appearances by Charlie, Hurley, Locke and Rose. My first fanfic so reviews and criticism are greatly appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of its characters.

**Chapter 1**

Claire approached Desmond slowly, a little unsure of what to say. He appeared to be deep in thought as he stared toward the ground. As she stepped closer to him, she realized he was looking at a worn photograph of himself and a lovely woman with long, brown hair.

"She's beautiful" Claire said in a whimsical tone, as he looked up to meet her gaze.

"Hi. Thanks." He quickly folded the picture along its familiar crease and tucked it deep into his palm.

Reluctantly Claire sat down next to him on the sand, surprised that her heart was pounding a little faster than normal. She thought she had calmed down after her near death experience that morning. "What's her name?"

"Penny…Penelope." His gaze met hers for a brief moment. Claire felt her cheeks grow warm and quickly looked toward the ocean. Before today, she had never been in such close proximity to him. His eyes sought hers out as she turned to see a look of sincere concern cross his face. "How you feeling?"

"Still a little shaken up. I go swimming almost every day. The undertow just grabbed me, I mean, if you hadn't…"

"Claire?" Claire and Desmond turned simultaneously to see Charlie standing directly behind them holding Aaron. "I thought you were only going to be five minutes. Aaron's starving."

"Yeah, um, sorry," she said with a hint of agitation in her voice.

Desmond's brow furrowed as his gaze met Charlie's but his face instantly softened as he looked at Claire once again.

With flushed cheeks, she looked him straight in the eye. "Well, anyway, I just wanted to say 'thank you'…thank you so much for being there."

Although his eyes looked tired, the corners of his mouth curved to form a subtle grin. "It was my pleasure." Claire slowly rose from the ground and dusted the sand from her pants. As he watched her walk away, Charlie glared at him once again, holding Aaron protectively to his chest.

The feeling he had when he was near her was inexplicable. She had the face of an angel and this exuberant warmth that surrounded her. He didn't know a thing about her aside from the fact that she was very young and had been left alone to raise her son. Maybe that was the reason she stayed with Charlie even though it was obvious that his over protectiveness and sometimes inappropriate antics annoyed her.

He had been away from civilization for three, long years and single even longer so he was certainly no expert when it came to matters involving the fairer sex. He still remembered Penny's comment about good men being hard to come by. He wondered to himself if that was why Claire even bothered with Charlie. He didn't know any of the details surrounding Claire's relationship with Aaron's father but figured she had been quite jaded by the ordeal. He could tell it was a sore subject by the tone of her voice when she had replied "He was doing what was best for him," after he had drunkenly approached her on the beach and inquired about the presence of Aaron's father on the island. Her eyes had gone from soft and inviting to hard as steel in a matter of seconds.

It was blatantly clear that Charlie cared a great deal about her no matter how unhealthy their relationship might be. It was as if she felt she needed someone reliable in her life that she could depend on but would not let her guard down for fear of being hurt. She seemed so strong and unreachable to him…until today.

* * *

_The look on her face when he revived her…the confused and scared look on her face as she clung to him and gasped for breath would forever be etched into his memory. He had cradled her head and reassured her that she was going to be okay. His instincts had taken over when Charlie reached for her possessively while continuously repeating her name as if trying to prove the moot point of his presence. All that mattered to him was her safety and getting her out of sight of the curious eyes that would surely overwhelm her in her moment of weakness. She needed privacy to regain her composure so he focused on getting her away from the gawking onlookers that surrounded her. He scooped her into his arms and headed toward her tent. As he carried her farther away from the frenzy of people and Charlie's maddening inquisitiveness, he felt her relax against his chest and rest her damp cheek against his bare shoulder._

_When they reached her tent, Locke who had went ahead to grab a damp cloth and a couple of towels was waiting for them. The color had returned to her face and her breathing had slowed a bit. He sat her gently on the makeshift mattress and knelt down in front of her, lightly brushing a loose, sopping wet lock of hair from her face._

_"You're okay?" His words came out more in the form of a question than a statement as he had meant._

_She nodded in response, still looking very shocked and confused, avoiding his eyes._

_"Here Claire," Locke said kindly as he knelt beside Desmond, "I brought you some towels and a washcloth so you can dry off and get the sand off your face. You'll probably want to bathe and wash your hair once you've rested for a while."_

_She shivered and continued to nod, as Desmond pulled a blanket that was thrown across the bed around her shoulders. "I should probably get out of these wet clothes if you don't mind."_

_"Sure," said Desmond, as he slowly rose from the ground and turned to leave._

_"I'll be right over here if you need anything," said Locke as he followed Desmond from the tent. "That was a close call," he said to Desmond in a hushed tone once they were out of earshot from Claire._

_"Too close, but luckily she's okay."_

_"Thanks to you," Locke said, as he gave Desmond an approving pat on the shoulder._

_"I'd better go dry off myself, brother."_

* * *

He rose from the spot where Claire had left him moments earlier. The sun began to set, over the crashing waves and cast incredible tones of orange, pink and purple across the horizon. As he headed down the beach alone to build a fire and settle in for the night, he thought to himself what a beautiful evening it was and wished to himself that he had someone to share it with. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Daylight was almost gone as Desmond made a pile of the broken twigs he had gathered from the edge of the jungle. He hadn't built himself a shelter yet, although if they weren't rescued soon, he supposed he would have to. He suspected that people were unsure of him and his sanity so he kept his distance from the others and slept under the stars several hundred yards down the beach from camp. Although he was used to being alone and became uncomfortable around the group, sometimes his longing for human companionship became unbearable. For some reason this evening he was feeling especially lonely and was surprised to see Charlie and Hurley walking in his direction. He began breaking the wood into smaller pieces as they approached him.

"Beautiful evening" said Charlie in an awkward tone.

"Aye." He continued what he was doing when he noticed Hurley nudge Charlie's arm.

"Say it dude."

"This morning," Charlie began with an earnest look on his face, "I'm sorry I wasn't more grateful. Thank you for helping Claire not drown."

"No harm done." Desmond paused for a moment then continued the task at hand.

"Excellent. I brought a peace offering…to make the truce official." Charlie knelt on the ground to retrieve a bottle of liquor from his backpack.

"Thanks, but no. I've spent a wee bit too much time drunk, as of late." He wondered why a "truce" was even necessary and found Charlie's behavior that morning to be very juvenile. If someone had saved Penny from drowning he would have expressed his gratitude immediately.

Charlie nodded with a disappointed look on his face. "Too good for us brother? Well that's fine. We'll take our drink and go somewhere else," he said in true Charlie fashion as he stood and tucked the bottle of whiskey under his arm, holding the backpack and three tin mugs in his hand.

Desmond's attention was suddenly drawn to the liquor bottle. "What kind of whiskey is that?"

Charlie looked briefly at the bottle. "It's, uh, it just says MacCutcheon," he said as he held the label so that Desmond could see.

Desmond wasn't sure why he began chuckling uncontrollably since the bottle reminded him of one of the most humiliating moments of his life. Maybe it was the irony of the whole damn situation. The day he had asked Penny's father for her hand in marriage, Widmore had pulled out two glasses, leading him to believe that he was going to offer a toast to their engagement, only to inform him that he wasn't worthy of drinking his whiskey much less marrying his daughter. It turned out that Penny's father had been right. Look at where he'd ended up and what he'd become. He was certain Widmore loved to tell the story of the fool who'd perished in his sailboat race trying to prove himself worthy of marrying his daughter. He imagined a group of high-powered men laughing about it over expensive brandy and cigars.

"Alright then. Let's have it." He nodded as a gesture for Charlie and Hurley to sit down.

Charlie offered a cup to Desmond. "No, I mean the bottle brother, if you've come to drink, let's drink."

A brief look of confusion crossed Charlie's face but then he smiled and handed Desmond the bottle. "Alright, let's drink."

Desmond took the bottle, eyeing the label for another moment then uncorked it with his teeth. "Cheers!" he said as he held the bottle up toward Charlie and Hurley.

"Cheers." Charlie grinned.

_Here's to you Charles Widmore, you miserable bastard, _he thought to himself as he turned the bottle straight up, taking several long gulps of the whiskey, letting it burn him down to the very core.

* * *

It had been hours since night had fallen on the camp. Claire hadn't seen Charlie or Hurley since well before dark and was beginning to worry. She bundled Aaron up tight in a blanket and made her way to the tent shared by Rose and Bernard. Their campfire was still blazing and she could see them relaxing on a blanket, talking to Sayid who was standing close by. When Rose caught sight of Claire, she waved.

Rose and Bernard were such wonderful people and many of the survivors liked to gather by their tent in the evenings. For Claire it brought a certain sense of nostalgia because Rose reminded her so much of her Aunt Millie. When she had gotten pregnant with Aaron, she went to Millie for guidance, not wanting to tell her friends or burden her mother with the news. They had sat on the front porch for hours, drinking hot tea and discussing the situation. Even though Claire didn't always agree with her aunt's perspective, she knew she was getting an impartial opinion and wouldn't be criticized if she didn't take her advice. Since being on the island, she had gone to Rose for advice several times because she knew Rose would offer insight and wisdom without being judgmental.

"Aaron being fussy?"

"No, he's actually about ready to call it a night. Would you mind to watch him while I go look for Charlie? He's been gone for hours and I'm beginning to worry."

"I'll be glad to watch him but you're not going anywhere alone, little lady," said Rose in her stern but caring voice.

"I'll go with you," offered Sayid in his ever-serious manner.

"Thanks, Sayid," Claire said before kissing Aaron's head and handing him to Rose. "I'll be back soon."

"When did you last see him?" asked Sayid.

"Just before sunset, he and Hurly went walking in that direction," she said pointing down the beach. "Charlie had his backpack so I assumed he was going to look for fruit."

As Claire and Sayid made their way across the sand making occasional small talk, they began to hear what sounded like singing. As they grew closer to the voices, the singing stopped but they could now see the faint, glowing embers of a campfire and three silhouettes, one of which Claire distinguished as Hurley. One of the figures, which appeared to be Desmond, slowly rose to his feet before staggering in the opposite direction. As Claire and Sayid closed the distance between themselves and the group, she realized that the third form who had suddenly stood up and began to yell in Desmond's direction was Charlie.

"Hey, I don't know what it is you're doing! You best tell us! Oy! You think because you turn some key that makes you a hero?! You're no hero brother. I don't know how you're doing what it is you're doing but I know a coward when I see one."

"Charlie…!" cried Claire, quickening her pace as she saw Desmond abruptly turn around and tackle Charlie. She and Sayid ran toward them as Desmond latched his hands around Charlie's neck.

"You don't want to know what happened to me when I turned that key!" cried Desmond hysterically, holding Charlie down and strangling him.

"Stop!" Claire screamed as Sayid attempted to pull Desmond off of Charlie.

"You don't want to know! You don't want to know!" Desmond repeated, sobbing.

"Hurley!" Charlie begged frantically. "Get him off!"

"Dude!" shouted Hurley in a slurred voice as he slowly and unsteadily got to his feet.

Sayid who had finally managed pry Desmond from Charlie, wrestled him the ground.

Claire ran to Charlie's side as she helped him to his feet. "Are you okay?"

"No thanks to the bearded wonder. That guy's lost it," Charlie said rubbing his neck.

"You reek of alcohol. Have you been drinking?"

"Not as much as Eddie Vedder over there," Charlie snorted. "Hey pal! Nineteen ninety two called…they want their look back!" he yelled toward Desmond who was lying on his side, with his face in the sand.

"What?!" asked Claire confused for a moment until she realized that Charlie was referring to Desmond's grungy appearance. "Charlie, you're such an idiot!"

"Oh, I forgot, he's your bloody hero." Charlie laughed cynically. "Well, he won't be saving anyone tonight. Look at him…he can't even stand up." Charlie looked at Desmond with a smug expression on his face. "Can't hold your liquor, huh?"

"Shut up Charlie!" Claire said turning away from him. "Hurley, take him back to his tent…and don't even think about letting him go near Aaron," she added, although she knew Rose would whack him if he tried to take Aaron in his current state.

She slowly approached Desmond who was visibly inebriated and now propped up against a tree trunk thanks to Sayid.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Charlie asked insistently as he followed on Claire's heels.

"I'm making sure he's okay."

"No, you're not…he's dangerous. You saw what he tried to do to me."

"Yeah, after you refused to stop antagonizing him," Claire turned to face Charlie in disgust.

"Dude, if you don't shut up, _I'm _going to strangle you," said Hurley who was trying to persuade Charlie to go back to his tent.

"Just sleep it off Charlie…we'll talk tomorrow," Claire insisted.

"I'm not going to just leave you here with him."

When Charlie still refused to cooperate, Sayid stepped in front of him, placing his hands on Charlie's shoulders reassuringly. "I'll walk her back to camp Charlie. Hurley, can you handle him?"

Hurley quickly nodded and nudged Charlie forward. Even though Charlie rarely knew when to stop, he knew better than to question Sayid's authoritative tone and allowed Hurley to lead him toward camp.

Claire who was now kneeling before Desmond heard Charlie snickering and belting out familiar lyrics as he and Hurley grew further away. "Jer-e-my spoke in claaaaaassssss todaaaaayyyyyy!" Claire felt the blood rush to her face in anger at Charlie's immature behavior and poor attempt at singing a great song. She would never be able to listen to that song again without thinking of Charlie butchering it. He had already ruined several other songs she liked.

Desmond still appeared to be emotionally distraught as Claire reached out and smoothed the disheveled hair from his forehead. He looked at her and grunted. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"You helped me, now I'm going to help you," she answered simply.

Desmond shook his head in disbelief at her words. She began to wipe the mixture of sand and half-dried tears from his face with her too-long shirt sleeve that had been stretched even longer by the nervous habit she had of pulling them over her hands. He looked at her then turned his head to the side, clearly upset. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"No worries," she said giving him a reassuring grin. His words tore at her heart because he usually seemed so cool and collected. She remembered from her wild days of partying how embarrassing it was to become emotional and hit rock bottom after a drinking binge. She wondered if his despair rooted from being away from the woman in the photo, _Penny, _for so long.

Sayid who had been silently watching the exchange finally spoke. "Let's take him to his tent," he said approaching Desmond's side.

Claire rose from the ground and walked around to the opposite side of Desmond. She and Sayid each grabbed an arm and pulled Desmond to his feet, trying to help him stay balanced.

"Where's your tent?" Claire wondered why she didn't already know.

"Don't have one," said Desmond, his speech slurred. "I'll sleep right here," he said pointing toward the sand next to his backpack.

"No, you won't," said Claire, feeling even worse. "Come on, Sayid. We'll take him back to camp and at least get him some blankets."

"What's the fuss?" Desmond laughed. "I'm fine here."

"Trust me you don't want to stay out here alone." Claire said, shuddering as she thought of Ethan. "You know what happened to Jack, Kate and Sawyer."

"He can sleep in Shannon's tent," offered Sayid.

"Are you sure?" Claire was concerned that Sayid viewed the tent he had worked so hard to build for Shannon as a sanctuary.

"I can't sleep there so it's been empty since…" Sayid trailed off as Claire just nodded.

"Who's Shannon?" asked Desmond.

"A friend," Claire quickly interjected. "Come on, let's get him to the tent."

"I've got him," Sayid said as he threw Desmond's arm over his shoulder, supporting his weight. "Get his things."

Claire grabbed Desmond's backpack then followed Sayid and an unsteady Desmond as they made their way toward camp.

Once they reached the tent, Claire walked ahead and pulled the flap back so that Sayid could lead Desmond inside. She helped Sayid ease Desmond onto the low mattress. Desmond almost toppled forward when he leaned forward to unlace of his boots.

"Here, let me," said Claire as she steadied him and proceeded to remove his boots, as Desmond lay back on the bed.

"Here Sayid…help me get him on his side." She and Sayid rolled Desmond, who was already in a catatonic state, forward and repositioned him on his side.

"Thank you, Sayid. I know it must be hard for you to come here," Claire said.

"Time will heal all wounds," said Sayid with pain in his eyes but a hint of hope in his voice.

Claire didn't know Sayid very well, but when he spoke, he usually had something significant to say. She knew he missed Shannon. She would have never pictured the two of them together initially but he had brought out the best in Shannon. Claire smiled at the memory. "Hey, if you ever feel like talking about it, you know where to find me."

"That is very kind of you." As Sayid pulled the tent flap back and allowed Claire to exit before him, Claire turned her head slightly, for a brief second, and looked at Desmond's sleeping form.

"Sweet dreams," she whispered under her breath then turned to leave.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Desmond dreamt vivid dreams of red walls, expensive whiskey and an old woman with piercing blue eyes trying to convince him that he wasn't meant to be with Penny. He had lived it all before and it was getting to the point that he could no longer distinguish between dreams and reality. The frustrating part of this particular dream was that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find Penny. When he went to the pier, everything was the same but Penny never showed up. When he raced to his flat, _their_ flat, to find her, all of her things were there in boxes and the walls were half-painted red but she was nowhere to be found. As he felt a wave of panic rush over him, he heard a key in the lock and expected to see Penny walk through the door. Instead it was Claire holding Aaron in her arms as she smiled sweetly at him…

He suddenly awoke in a cold sweat but much to his dismay, he was still on the island in some sort of shelter, lying on a mattress made of airline blankets and dried palm leaves. Above him was a roof made of a blue, plastic tarp and was tall enough to stand underneath. As he moved into an upright position and planted his bare feet in the sand, he saw his boots and backpack sitting neatly in front of him.

When he slowly left the tent he realized that he was at the edge of camp and could see some of the survivors bustling around in the distance. He didn't feel like dealing with anyone because his head pounded so he decided to sneak away before anyone saw him.

As he distanced himself from camp, images from the previous evening began to return.

Charlie had continued to quiz him about how he had known that Claire was drowning, they had fought and Claire…Claire had seen everything. He didn't remember what he'd said to her and for some reason a feeling of dread washed over him. He would approach her later but first he needed to clean himself up and sort out the million different thoughts that were running through his head.

* * *

Claire had just finished feeding Aaron and was changing his diaper when she saw Charlie coming her way with an apprehensive look on his face, carrying a bowl of sliced mangoes and a bottle of water. "Morning,"

"Morning, yourself." She carefully pinned the sides of Aaron's cloth diaper, not looking up.

"I brought you some breakfast," he said offering her the fruit and water.

She looked at him with a quick smile. "Thanks."

"You know…I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk last night. I was way out of line."

She looked him square in the eyes. "Yes, Charlie, you were."

"I just want to look after you Claire. I don't trust that guy. I mean…I guess he's never given me a reason _not_ to trust him, he's just…odd."

"If you'd spent three years in that dreary hatch you'd probably be a little odd too."

"I guess so, but we don't know anything about him, like how he ended up here in the first place. And how did he know you were drowning?"

"Who are we to question? Can't the fact that he knew and did something about it be enough?"

"Look, I was just trying to get some answers and maybe I went about it the wrong way."

"It's okay Charlie…I know you always mean well but, please, just stop being so defensive about everything."

"I'll do better, I promise." He gave her the same look that a child would give its mother after being scolded.

"Let's just forget it and move on. Yesterday was a bad day all around."

"Tell you what," he said, clearly pleased that she had let him off the hook so easily, "I'll take Aaron for a while so you can eat your breakfast and go on your morning walk uninterrupted…just promise you won't go near the water."

"You're doing it again." She rolled her eyes and gave him a silly grin.

"Hey, I can't help but worry."

"Okay, okay. I promise I'll be extra careful," she reassured him.

After she finished eating and changed from heavy, gray sweatpants into a light pair of capris, she set out on her morning stroll which had become a ritual since Aaron had been born. It was the only time she felt truly alone to reflect on the beauty of this place that was often overlooked amidst the ever-ensuing chaos.

Today her thoughts began to wander to the events of the previous evening…_You don't want to know what happened to me_. Charlie was right. There was something odd about Desmond. He was a complete mystery. She wondered just what had happened to him. He seemed so tortured…_I don't want you to see me like this_. Why did it matter to him what she thought?

As she approached a small alcove of the beach, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she recognized a familiar form straight ahead. She stopped dead in her tracks. There he was, standing knee deep in the water with his pants rolled up, wearing no shirt. He splashed water on his upper body as the tanned skin of his tone physique glistened in the sun. Before she was physically able to take her eyes off of him, he spotted her.

She immediately waved trying to act nonchalant, not knowing whether to approach him or attempt a surreptitious departure. She didn't want to intrude on his privacy but didn't want to be rude either. Before she came to a mental resolution about what to do, he emerged from the water and moved toward her. She wiped the dumbfounded look off her face before he was too close to see.

"Hi." He greeted her with a sheepish look on his face.

"Hi." She felt a flush inching its way up her body toward her face and prayed that just this once her fair skin would not betray her. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm afraid I've seen better days. About last night…"

"Don't…you don't have to say anything."

"Well, I'm afraid my recollection of the whole ordeal is a blur. I just hope I didn't make a complete and utter fool of myself."

She attempted to reassure him with a smile. "We've all been there so don't think another thing of it. Sayid and I made sure you were okay."

She had always found him handsome, but before this moment, she didn't know just how attracted she was to him. She fought an internal battle to keep her eyes from straying from his face. She focused on a spot in the middle of his forehead as he continued to apologize and thank her for the previous night. She nodded occasionally and concentrated on concealing how uncomfortable she was. His expression suddenly changed. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded then tried to elaborate. "I'm…it's just…really hot out here today. I'm not used to getting this much direct sun."

"Here, let me grab my shirt and boots and I'll walk you back. I need to apologize to Charlie anyway."

"No," she said abruptly. "I…I'm fine…I'll be fine…I should get back though. I'll let you get back to…" She quickly turned to go before he had a chance to respond.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ She had often checked out hot guys prior to becoming pregnant, but hadn't afforded herself the luxury since. She didn't figure there was any since there was no chance any of them would have found her attractive with a giant bulge protruding from her once flat stomach. Now that her body was back in shape, she had fallen into the duties of motherhood with Charlie by her side…Charlie, her rock.

She and Charlie had formed an unbreakable bond and she knew from his numerous expressions of affection that he wanted to be with her in the romantic sense. He had been there for her since they had crashed on the island and had almost gotten killed in the process so she felt she owed it to him to try and return his feelings. She cared about Charlie very much and he was an attractive guy, but she just didn't feel a spark with him. Not like what she felt when she was near Desmond.

_Oh what's the use? He's got a gorgeous woman waiting for him. He would never want me and the burden of another man's child_. She laughed to herself and thought about how immature she was being. She had an inkling of a high school crush on a man who probably thought of her as a pitiful child that had made some wrong decisions and gotten into trouble. She needed to grow up and focus on being a good mother to her son so she pushed the thoughts of Desmond from her mind and made her way back to Aaron and Charlie.

* * *

Desmond was baffled by Claire's odd behavior. She seemed friendly enough at first but when he had mentioned walking her back to camp, she had immediately shut him down. He wondered if his seemingly frequent drunkenness had caused her sudden coolness toward him or if she was worried that Charlie would see them together and cause a scene. He vaguely remembered Claire being perturbed at Charlie after the scuffle and wondered if she had caught the brunt of it. He wasn't sure why her submissiveness to Charlie bothered him so much but he had grown increasingly worried about her well being.

After getting dressed, he spent the rest of the morning exploring the beach for good fishing spots. When he made his way toward camp, he encountered Locke who was headed into the jungle on a boar hunting expedition and invited him along.

While trekking through the jungle, they made small talk about hatches, polar bears and the Others…things that the average person would have found completely ridiculous but had become as normal to them as taxi cabs and coffee shops. When they finally stopped for a break, Desmond decided to casually broach the subject he had been assessing in his mind all morning. "So, what's the story with Claire and Charlie?"

Locke raised his eyebrow in a dubious manner. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious." Desmond tried to appear indifferent. "They seem nice, that's all."

"Claire's a kindred spirit and I think deep down Charlie's a good person but he has some issues he needs to resolve before the two of them could ever make it together in the outside world. When we crashed here they became close, but just between you and me, I think part of the reason he took her under his wing was to make himself feel better about things he's done in the past."

"Oh yeah?" Desmond was intrigued.

Locke proceeded to tell him about Ethan, Charlie's heroin addiction and the recent incident involving Aaron that left Charlie and Claire estranged for a brief period.

Desmond was shocked and a little unnerved by this information and began to realize why Claire seemed so cautious. "She seems to have handled things well. I'm a bit surprised that she would be so willing to trust him again."

"Well I'm not sure that she does completely. In the short time I've known her she's changed from a happy-go-lucky ray of sunshine to a more hardened version of herself. But then again, she has another person to look out for now."

Desmond didn't know Claire before this transformation that Locke referred to but he still thought she radiated with an ethereal quality.

"As for Charlie," Locke continued, "there's definitely hope for him but he needs to face his inner-demons head-on. You can change for someone else but unless you do it for yourself, it's only temporary." Locke sounded as if he spoke from direct experience and it seemed that he was now analyzing himself as much as he was Charlie.

During the remainder of the hunt he let Locke go on talking about his theories of attaining inner peace while Desmond continued to silently ponder what Locke had shared with him about Claire. It suddenly dawned on him that today had been the first day since he had landed on this island three years ago that he hadn't thought about Penny.

Later when Desmond and Locke returned to camp, he saw Charlie standing outside Claire's tent and decided to go over and try to make amends. Before he reached Charlie, however, Claire came out of the tent holding Aaron.

"Good evening," Desmond greeted them.

"Can I help you?" Charlie asked in a defensive tone.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," said Claire to Charlie, offering no explanation of where she was going. "Desmond." She greeted him with a momentary glance and he noticed that her eyes looked cold and guarded.

"You have something to say brother?" asked Charlie.

"I just wanted to apologize for attacking you last night. I know you were just concerned for Claire's safety and I should have left well enough alone."

"Well, I guess I shouldn't have called you a coward. You did risk your life going in after her." Charlie's demeanor seemed to soften a bit.

"It's water under the bridge, pal. That's what happens when you mix name-calling and large amounts of alcohol." Desmond chuckled in an attempt to further lighten the mood.

"In any case, I meant it when I said 'thank you' for saving Claire…although I'm still a little confused about how…"

"Evening, Charlie," interrupted Locke as he approached but continued to walk.

"Evening, John."

"Desmond, you ready to help me clean the boar?" Locke pointed in the direction he was headed.

"Aye. Well, glad we cleared that up pal." He gave Charlie a friendly pat on the back and followed Locke.

* * *

That evening everyone gathered by Rose and Bernard's tent for the evening meal of roasted boar, Dharma brand macaroni and cheese and canned vegetables. Hurley had made his famous fruit salad for dessert.

Claire was sitting by the campfire chatting with Rose and Sun when out of the corner of her eye she noticed Desmond talking to Charlie, Hurley and Jin. She watched intently as Aaron, who was being held by Charlie, reached his chubby arms toward Desmond. Charlie offered for Desmond to hold Aaron and he accepted with a smile. Aaron amused himself by grabbing a handful of Desmond's hair. Desmond laughed as he tenderly pried Aaron's little fingers from his thick, wavy locks and Claire felt the breath catch in her throat as he placed a soft kiss on Aaron's forehead.

"Claire?" Rose interrupted her thoughts. "Where are you honey?"

Claire abruptly turned her slightly damp eyes toward Rose and replied, "I'm right here."


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks had passed since Desmond had last spoken to Claire. He had since integrated himself among the crash survivors and built a tent with help from Charlie and Hurley gathering scrap material. Claire was usually in the company of Sun or Charlie but when she was alone she stayed close to her tent alternating between tending to Aaron and vigorously writing in her journal. He often wondered what she wrote about that was so engrossing.

Claire completely avoided him now and even though he didn't know her very well, she seemed to be acting completely out of character. Throughout the endless days, he found himself casting glances in her direction. Once, he could have sworn he caught her looking at him before she quickly looked away. Although he had taken a liking to Charlie, he couldn't help but wonder if Charlie had forbade Claire to talk to him.

Desmond strayed from camp at least once a day and always ended up in the same place—the site of his last conversation with Claire. The main reason he liked this particular spot was its seclusion, nonetheless he found himself secretly hoping that she would return.

At night, the dreams of his past continued, sometimes a different version of the same dream, but his conversation with the old woman from the jewelry shop remained constant. He would always insist, _I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her!_ She would then look at him calmly with those intense blue eyes and reply, _No, Desmond. You're not._ As much as he wanted to disbelieve her, the images of Penny in his dreams gradually began to fade. He would sit and stare at her picture, reminiscent of their time together but even his conscious perception of her was becoming less vivid. As hard as he tried to focus on his memories of Penny, thoughts of Claire would always wander into his mind before he realized it and pushed them away. It was like trying to read a book that did not grab his interest only immeasurably more frustrating.

He had to stop. He was driving himself mad. _I'm in love with Penny and besides, I would never dream of stealing another man's woman._ But as soon as he would allow himself to relax, there she was, consuming his thoughts once more.

* * *

Claire and Rose were hand washing clothes in a trough that was handmade by Locke from a large sheet of plastic and dried bamboo shoots that were tied together. Charlie and Hurley had taken Aaron for a walk as she fell into the no-so-normalcy of domestic bliss on the island. She had heard of women being content in Stepford-like existences, married to men for conveniences of one kind or another. One thing all of these women had in common was their comfortable, passionless lives. _Am I becoming a bored housewife living in a twisted suburban hell?_

"Claire?" Rose interrupted her thoughts. "I've lost you again."

Claire realized she had completely zoned out in the middle of Rose's spill about her preference of detergent brands. "Oh, sorry."

"Honey, are you okay? It seems like you've been in a daze for the past few weeks. Is something on your mind?"

"I'm fine, I just…" she started to deny there was in fact something eating away inside her but then she thought of sitting on the porch with Aunt Millie in Sydney and decided to open up to Rose. "Actually, there is."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She felt the helpless confusion of her too quickly forgotten youth come flooding back. "Yeah, I do."

"Let's take a walk." Rose wrung the wet garment she was washing and threw it over the line to dry.

When she and Claire ventured a short distance and found a spot on the beach out of earshot of the other survivors, they sat down near the water's edge.

"So what's on your mind?" Rose cut to the chase but looked out toward the horizon as if to let Claire know she had her ear but wasn't pressuring her to talk.

"Mainly Charlie…don't get me wrong, he's great but something's missing. It just doesn't feel…right."

Rose nodded. "And what else?"

Claire gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"You said _mainly_ Charlie. What's the rest of it?"

"Me, I guess…and these silly thoughts I have."

"Mm hmm." Rose continued to listen and gaze at the ocean.

"Sometimes I think about things and wish they were different. It's like there's something missing from my life…well, besides the obvious." Claire made a gesture as if to encompass the island.

"Something or someone?" asked Rose as she looked at Claire for the first time since they had sat down.

Claire finally broke down and told Rose about her thoughts of Desmond but her reluctance to acknowledge anything for fear of jeopardizing Aaron's well-being and her relationship with Charlie. She went on to talk about her "Stepford" theory and how she felt like compromising passion for stability was sometimes the right thing to do. "I care a great deal about Charlie but it seems like every day I spend pretending we're in a relationship, this void inside me gets bigger."

When Claire was finished talking, Rose was silent for a few moments. The gap in conversation made Claire uneasy. "Okay, what I just said made no sense whatsoever so…"

Rose interrupted Claire using a profound tone of voice. "When you were missing, Charlie didn't speak for days. One night before you returned to us, we sat together on this very beach and prayed. I know he cares about you very deeply and would do anything for you and Aaron. You can stay with him because it's the _right_ thing to do but I'm telling you now that whether it's two months from now or two years from now, if it's not Desmond, it'll be somebody else. If you truly care about Charlie and value him as a person, you need to look inside yourself and decide right now if you can live this lie forever."

Long after Rose had left to go finish the laundry, Claire sat in the same spot, Rose's words still ringing in her ears, as she basked in the sound of the waves hitting the shore and the beauty of the sunset. She knew what she had to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Desmond had just returned from what had turned into an all-day boar hunt with Locke and felt especially unkempt. He decided to wash up before dinner so he grabbed a clean change of clothes and headed toward the spot on the beach that he had unofficially claimed as his own.

He was in pretty good spirits today and was actually beginning to adjust to human company again. He had made several friendly acquaintances but most enjoyed watching and analyzing some of the quirky personalities on the island and how they interacted with one another.

Rose and Bernard fought on a daily basis but by evening they had usually patched things up. Jin and Sun seemed to be getting along better these days. Jin's English had gradually improved, resulting in a decreased frustration level with Sun. Locke and Sayid were the implied decision-makers for the group. Even though their leadership skills sometimes clashed, they respected one another and were able to maintain a healthy balance of power by keeping each other in check. Based upon the amount of time Charlie and Claire spent together—or lack thereof, it seemed to him that Charlie and Hurley could have passed for more of an item. Charlie would excitedly pop into Claire's tent and enthusiastically tell her of his great adventures with Hurley. Desmond imagined an adolescent boy coming home from school, _Mum, Mum, guess what happened to me today!_ Claire would smile and nod as she listened intently, her actions almost robotic in nature.

The only truly normal person on the island was Aaron but that was simply because he was unscathed from the traumas of adult life. The few times he'd been around Aaron, he had enjoyed it immensely. His purity and innocence made Desmond think of simpler times and gave him hope for better things to come. He and Penny had always spoken of having children…

As Desmond cleared the trees that kept his spot hidden from the rest of the beach, he was shocked to see Claire sitting contemplatively in the sand. She looked equally as surprised to see him approaching as she quickly stood up, dusting her pants as he greeted her. "Lovely afternoon."

"Yeah, it is." The pink top she was wearing magnified the natural rosy hue of her cheeks and her crystal clear blue eyes. She still had that guarded look on her face and spoke politely, with little emotion as the slight breeze gently touched the golden curls that framed her face.

There was an uncomfortable pause as Desmond waited for her to continue. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I'll just…" He motioned over his shoulder, awkwardly.

"No," she said instantly, stepping closer to him. "I actually came here to see you."

He felt a knot of anticipation form in his stomach. "You did? Does Charlie know you're here?"

"No." Claire slightly bowed her head, looking at her hands then bravely met his gaze as she continued. "Look Desmond, let's stop pretending there's not something between us. I see the way you look at me and, well frankly, I'm sure you've seen me return some of those looks."

He had tried so hard to push her out of his mind but she had seen right through him. "Claire, I…"

"Let me finish, okay. The reason I came here is to tell you to stop looking at me. This has to stop. I'm with Charlie and I don't want to jeopardize that. Aaron and I need him and…"

Desmond felt a strange mix of realization and sympathy rush over him. Claire's mouth was still moving but his brain no longer registered her words. Charlie _had_ been controlling her all along, just not the way he thought. She was convinced that she needed Charlie to survive and saw Desmond as a threat to the perfect little fantasy she had created.

When she stopped speaking, he began. "I'm sorry you think I'm jeopardizing your relationship with Charlie. I just wonder where this is really coming from."

"What are you suggesting? That Charlie made me do this?" Claire was clearly threatened by his words, her face turning a bright shade of scarlet.

"Look, it's none of my business, sister," replied Desmond, realizing she had misconstrued what he had said. He knew Charlie hadn't told her to come here. He was only attempting to get her to open up by delving into the root of her pain and insecurities which obviously ran deeper than he thought.

"Apparently you're making it your business or you wouldn't have said anything." The level of her voice had intensified along with the color of her face.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to point out that you seem like a very strong and independent woman, that's all."

"Well, I didn't come here to ask your opinion of me," Claire snapped.

Desmond realized the more he tried to explain himself, the more defensive she would become, so he decided to avoid upsetting her further. "Very well, then. Sorry for the intrusion."

As he turned to leave, Claire grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her, in one swift motion. She reached up with both hands and pulled his face to hers, their lips meeting forcefully. He immediately responded by threading his hands through her long, glorious hair, pulling her closer and tilting her head as their tongues collided urgently with one another. The kiss deepened and all of the pent-up tension came flowing out of them. He felt like he was now the one drowning and she was the only thing that could save him. Desmond allowed the aching pleasure of having her in his arms to overtake him and a stifled groan escaped from deep within him.

Claire gasped and abruptly pulled away. She was flushed and her already full lips were swollen from the intensity of their kiss. She had never looked more beautiful. Her eyes, that had been unreadable only moments ago, now displayed confusion and vulnerability. Desmond wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and assure her that she would never be hurt again, but he couldn't do that.

Before he could speak, Claire left him standing there stunned with the taste of her still on his lips. He felt like his insides had been cut open and exposed. Heat radiated from his body and his heart pounded with a fury that he had never experienced before. He slowly bent to pick up the clothes that had fallen from his hands at some point.

Long after she was gone Desmond was still physically affected by the kiss so he didn't even attempt the impossible feat of trying to forget that it happened.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Claire rounded the trees and was out of Desmond's sight, she started running, running back to camp, back to her safe haven. This wasn't supposed to happen. She had developed a plan to be as cold to him as possible and put an end to this madness. But he had seen straight through the façade and she had let it tumble down around her, allowing him a glimpse into her soul.

She didn't want to go through the hardships that her mother had, struggling alone to make ends meet and the pain of one failed relationship after another. She remembered lying in bed at night as a child hearing her mother cry through the thin walls after she had had her heart broken yet again. Claire had sworn to herself that she would never feel that much for anyone but then Thomas came along and ripped that promise to shreds. The thought of going through it again terrified her but so did the thought of going the rest of her life and never feeling something like she had just felt. She wondered if Desmond had felt it too. Probably not, but then she remembered the way he had clung to her like she was his lifeblood.

She was back at square one. When Claire reached the edge of camp, she stopped running and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She willed herself to act normal and get through the evening like everything was fine. She could sleep on it tonight and perhaps wake up with a fresh perspective.

She didn't fall asleep until dawn.

* * *

At morning's first light, Claire woke from her short, restless sleep with a gnawing sensation in the pit of her stomach. She slowly rose and saw that Aaron was sleeping peacefully in his cradle. After tying the sides of her tent back to allow the refreshing breeze to come in from the ocean, she leaned over and placed a feather-light kiss on Aaron's smooth forehead. As she stopped for a moment to look at his angelic face, tears welled up in her eyes.

She hadn't grown up in a perfect family, per se, nor with many of the material things she would have liked but her mother always did the best that she could. Although Claire went through the typical stages of teenage rebellion and hadn't always made it easy on her mother, Thomas was the first and only person she had ever been with. When she found out she was pregnant, she felt especially ashamed, knowing how disappointed her mum would be. She took a giant leap of faith when Thomas told her they would get through the pregnancy together and although not ideal, she trusted him and thought it would be okay. When he left her, she was forced to move home and was baffled by the fact that her mother stood by her as always even when she decided to place the baby for adoption. In the past, when she heard people say that nothing compares to the love you feel for your children, she took it with a grain of salt. Now she knew. It was beautiful, painful, unconditional, infinite love.

Every day she struggled with the fact that her intention to give Aaron away to strangers was the sole reason she had ended up on this island in the first place. She loved Aaron more than anything and regretted ever making that decision. Maybe because of her selfishness she didn't deserve personal happiness.

But then she saw Desmond treading across the beach in the hopeful glow of the morning sun and as she felt that familiar longing, Rose's words came back to her, _If it's not Desmond, it'll be somebody else._ Claire knew she had fooled herself by thinking she could go on this way. Like herself, Aaron would never know his father but she vowed that he would have a mother that loved him dearly and would do her best for him just as her mother had done for her. She just hoped that someday he would be as grateful to her as she was to her mum.

Claire took another look at her sleeping son then moved to the broken plane seat that occupied the corner of her tent. She picked up her beloved journal and began to capture her random, fleeing thoughts. It was only moments later that Charlie came by her tent to say good morning and let her know that he and Hurley were on their way into the jungle to pick up some fruit.

"So what kind of fruit do you want for lunch? Mangoes or papayas…or do you want to be adventurous today and go for bananas?" Charlie seemed especially chipper.

"Charlie…do you have a minute before you leave?" Claire took a deep breath. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"What's on your mind? Can it wait? Hurley's waiting…"

Claire cut him off before he could escape. "No, it can't wait."

"What is it, Claire?" Claire was wringing her hands so he sat down beside her, a shadow of concern covering his face.

"This isn't working, Charlie," Claire blurted out, looking him square in the eye.

Charlie looked at her as if she were speaking language he didn't understand. "What isn't working?"

"Us…this relationship. Look, you're a wonderful person…and…I've tried to have feelings…I just, I don't think of you like you think of me. You're like my best friend, but that's just not enough. I'm sorry." She felt the painful sting of tears in her eyes.

"This is about him isn't it?"

Claire was taken aback. Had Desmond told him what had happened? "No…I mean…yes…I mean…something's there, or at least I think so. What I'm trying to say is I don't want to hurt you, Charlie. We've been through so much together. You'll never know how grateful I am for all that you've done to help me, but as hard as this is, it's for the best." The tears were now rolling down her cheeks.

Charlie was unresponsive.

Claire continued, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence. "It wouldn't be fair to either of us if we kept going on like this. I know it's completely selfish to say this but I truly value your friendship and I hope at some point we can be friends."

Charlie looked at the ground for a moment then back at her with a stricken expression on his face. "I don't know about that, but if it's any consolation, we can try."

Claire had expected Charlie to tell her to go to hell and was both shocked and relieved at his words. "You don't know how much it means to hear you say that."

"I do have feelings for you, Claire…besides friendship, but if being your friend is the only way I can have you in my life then I'm willing to try. I just want you to be happy." He reluctantly placed his hand over hers in a reassuring gesture.

Claire wiped the tears that had reached her chin with her free hand. "Thank you."

"Thank you for being honest with me about your feelings…I know it wasn't easy and I admire you for that." Charlie reached up and caught one of her stray tears with his thumb and held her face in a position that forced her to look him in the eye. "You deserve someone in your life that makes you happy and if I'm not that person then…"

"You do make me happy, just in a different way…just please don't blame Desmond for this. I don't have any reason to believe he thinks of me like that…it's just a hunch."

"I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me." Charlie slowly removed his hand from atop hers and ran it through his hair. He closed his eyes, a look of frustration crossing his face. "Oh, it bothers me alright, but I actually like the guy. And just so you know, he does have feelings for you."

"Did he say…"

"He didn't have to say anything. Somebody would have to be blind not to see it."

"Let's not talk about him, okay." Claire realized discussing Desmond with Charlie was completely inappropriate.

"Okay. Look, I need to get going. Hurley's waiting for me." He quickly patted Claire's hand before rising to his feet. "I'll look in on you and Aaron later…that is, if you still want me to."

"Of course, you're part of our lives. Thank you for being so understanding, Charlie."

"What can I say? I'm just a great guy. The ladies are going to be knocking my door—or should I say tent flap—down." He winked at her as he turned to walk away.

She managed to laugh and shake her head in disbelief at Charlie's amazing ability to be witty in even the most somber situations. He was such a unique person and deserved someone who could return his love. For selfish reasons, she hoped that his offer to try and remain friends was sincere.

As she reached to pick up her journal, the realization hit her that she was now completely alone and truly a single mother. In a sense, her life had come full circle, a direct reflection of her mother's. She looked down at the journal page and read her last excerpt to determine what she had been writing. She saw the words, _Be strong, be strong, be strong, be strong, _written across the page and remembered her crazy attempt to channel her mother's strength when she had seen Charlie approaching

She smiled and looked out at the ocean as if she could somehow see the shores of Sydney in the distance. "Thank you, Mum." Surprisingly, she didn't feel all that bad.


	7. Chapter 7

My inspiration for the next two chapters came from the song "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" by U2. I originally planned for the following two installments to be one chapter but it seemed to flow better when I broke it into two.

**Chapter 7**

Things hadn't really changed as much as Claire had expected when she broke up with Charlie the week before. In fact, things were pretty much the same. He still brought her breakfast every morning, stopped by throughout the day to check in on her and watched Aaron while she went for walks. The only clear difference in their relationship was Charlie's emotional detachment which was evident in the way he distanced himself when she attempted to have a substantive conversation with him.

She felt very lonely at times because there was no one on the island she could really talk to anymore. Sun was having a difficult time with nausea relating to her pregnancy and although Rose had expressed a universal willingness to give advice, Claire felt like she had worn out her welcome by going to her with numerous trivial matters. These days it seemed like Claire's only friend was her journal and, of course, her precious baby boy who she would whisper to when no one was around.

She was a bit frustrated but not surprised that Desmond hadn't acknowledged her except for the occasional "hello" since she had kissed him. Her intention had been to pursue her feelings for him after breaking up with Charlie but she had obviously taken his feelings out of context and since discerned that it was better to be alone than to risk getting her heart broken again. Claire was certain that he thought she was pathetic and had only reacted to her kiss like any typical male would have who had been without physical interaction for such a long duration. For these reasons, she was glad her separation from Charlie hadn't created a visible impact.

Just as Claire sat down to start a new book that she had picked up in the community stash of reading materials, Charlie and Hurley appeared out of nowhere, both breathing heavily.

"Grab the midget and let's go," Charlie ordered her, barely slowing down.

"What…what's going on?" One thing that Claire had always found bothersome about Charlie was the way he directed her here and there, a whirling dervish of energy.

Charlie paused for a moment, seemingly aggravated that Claire didn't immediately oblige. "Locke and Sayid want to meet with everyone. Said it's urgent."

Claire got to her feet and reluctantly scooped up Aaron who had just fallen asleep. She guessed that this was about rescuing Jack, Kate and Sawyer. After a couple of failed attempts by Locke and Sayid to find the Others' camp, she figured they had pretty much given up hope. Claire hoped Jack, Kate and Sawyer were okay, but didn't like to think about what had happened to them. Her nightmares about being kidnapped had finally stopped and she didn't want to do anything to awaken those terrifying images.

Everyone had already gathered at the center of camp when Claire made her way toward the group, following a few paces behind Charlie and Hurley. She noticed right away that Desmond was standing off to the side, maintaining a bit of distance from the rest of the group. Claire had seen him interacting with the survivors more and more but he still had an air of mystery about him that she resented because it made him all the more appealing.

"I'm sure everyone is wondering why we asked you to come here." Locke spoke in a mayoral tone. "Well, Sayid and I have devised a plan to rescue our friends. Now, this plan is risky so we're going to need as many men as we can spare."

Someone toward the back of the congregation spoke up right away. "What about the camp? Who's going to protect the women and children?"

"That was my next point. We're asking only one man per every two women to stay behind. According to our count, there are sixteen women, so that means ideally only eight men will stay behind."

Everyone began to chatter amongst themselves and Locke was bombarded with questions like, "What if we don't want to go?" and "How is this plan going to work?"

"Wait, wait, wait," said Locke trying to calm the uproar. "Calm down folks. This isn't a dictatorship here, so we're not making anyone do anything, but if we're ever going to make it off this island, we're going to have to do it together.

A hush fell over the group when Locke mentioned getting off the island.

Locke continued to bolster his idea. "Jack, Kate and Sawyer have risked their lives numerous times for unselfish reasons since we've been here and I think now we owe them our courage. We can't just live in fear of these people and let them kidnap us…even kill us. Have you forgotten what they're capable of?"

Claire winced at Locke's words and noticed that Desmond was looking directly at her. He didn't look away. She felt her face grow warm and quickly turned her focus back to Locke who was now striking people from the draft.

Claire was distressed at the thought of Desmond going with them. Even though she didn't intend to pursue anything further with him, he was nice to look at…

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her name mentioned by Locke. "Charlie, I suspect you'll stay behind to look after Claire and the baby."

While Claire didn't expect Charlie to go, she hated the fact that everyone made such a fuss over her because she had a baby. It made her feel weak.

"Actually, John, uhm…I'd like to go along. I'm sure Claire and Aaron will be well looked after and I feel like I owe it to Jack and Kate…after all, they did save my life, you know…before."

Claire was astonished by Charlie's sudden urge to do something noble. Even though it was completely contradictory to her insecurities, she just assumed he would take it upon himself to stay behind and look after her.

"Okay, well…are you sure about that?" Locke seemed surprised as well. "I mean Claire needs someone…"

"Dude, they broke up," Hurley blurted out.

An uncomfortable silence clouded the air and no one responded immediately. Claire could feel Desmond's eyes on her so she tried to concentrate on the ground in front of her and not give in to the urge to meet his burning gaze.

"What about you, Desmond?" Charlie asked unexpectedly. "I mean, you don't really know Jack, Kate and Sawyer as well as the rest of us…and besides, you've been through a lot already."

Claire felt her mouth drop open and the blood drain from her face. What was Charlie doing?

Desmond spoke for the first time. "I agree with you, brother. I don't know your friends and the way I see it, they walked right into this mess. It's one thing to protect ourselves from the hostiles but another to go looking for trouble. I say we should leave well enough alone and not risk anymore lives. That being said, I do respect the loyalty you have to your friends."

"Fair enough." Locke accepted Desmond's reasoning with a firm nod.

Before turning to leave, Desmond nodded toward the group in a respectful nature. "G'luck to ya."

Locke continued to round up members for the search party and then adjourned the meeting for everyone except those who were going. Sayid wanted to go over their strategy in detail.

Claire wasn't sure how she felt. In a way, she agreed with Locke and thought they needed to help their friends but she also realized just how much danger Charlie was putting himself in. In a sense, she felt responsible that he had volunteered to go. On the other hand, she was relieved that Desmond was not joining the group although his reasoning seemed a bit harsh.

As soon as the crowd thinned and everyone began to scatter, Claire leaned over and whispered to Charlie, "When you're finished, I'd like to talk to you," and then slipped back to her tent to wait for him.

* * *

Even in the tropical climate, Claire tended to get a bit chilled by the evening breeze. She was searching for a sweater in her suitcase which served as a poor alternative to a dresser and silently cursed herself for disrupting most of the neatly folded garments when she pulled the sweater from the bottom. 

"You rang, m'lady?"

Claire jumped with a start then realized it was Charlie. "You scared me, Charlie. Don't sneak up on me like that."

"A bit jumpy are we?" Charlie grinned in his usual lighthearted manner.

Claire was beginning to recognize that Charlie's recurring attempts at humor were often used as a way for him to avoid serious discussions. She pulled the black sweater on and zipped it up a little further than normal before getting to the point of her request to talk to him. "What are you doing, Charlie? You could get killed out there."

"Why aren't you worried that Locke and Sayid will get killed?" Charlie quickly countered.

"It's not that…I just feel responsible…"

"If I didn't want to go, I wouldn't. Despite what you might think, I do feel indebted to Jack and Kate for saving my life and I'm tired of letting these _Others_ push us around."

"Charlie, you don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"No, I don't. I need to do it for myself."

"I still feel like there's something more to this, Charlie…And why did you volunteer Desmond to stay? What was that all about?"

"I know you've been avoiding him because of me, but it's okay Claire."

"That's not why I haven't talked to him. I mean, he hasn't exactly talked to me either. Besides, I kind of like being on my own." Claire shifted the conversation to align with her progressive train of thought. "Why does everyone always look at me like I'm some sort of damsel in distress anyway? Is it because I have a baby? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know."

"I know you are, just don't let the past ruin your chances for a happy future. Stop shutting people out."

Claire didn't respond because she knew what Charlie said was true.

"It's getting late and I need to get with Hurley about what we need to take. Dawn will be here before you know it. Not sure how early that is but you know I'm not a morning person."

"What? You're leaving at dawn?" All of a sudden, Claire felt a wave of anxiety come over her. She thought she would have a least another day or two to try and talk Charlie out of going, but she could tell by the determined look in his eyes that wasn't going to happen.

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself and not get killed out there."

"Boy, you sure know how to boost a guy's confidence, Claire. Keep that up and you'll run all the guys away," Charlie said in on of his ever-persistent attempts to make light of things no matter how dark or hopeless they seemed.

Claire grabbed Charlie and hugged him tight. "Just promise you'll be careful."

"Promise you'll start letting people in." Charlie pulled away from her and leaned over Aaron's cradle. He playfully pinched Aaron's toes then leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. "And promise you'll take care of your mum, little fellow." With that, Charlie left Claire drowning in a pool of guilt.

* * *

Two nights after the rescue party set out into the jungle, Claire's nightmares returned. She was pregnant and walking through the jungle when she felt something wet drip on her forehead. She looked up, she saw Charlie hanging from a tree branch above her, blood dripping from his abdomen and heard a familiar voice, _So we meet again._ Ethan was standing there holding a large blade covered in blood. Before she could scream or run, someone grabbed her from behind covering her mouth as Ethan came toward her, slowly, deliberately. _You see, if you would've just cooperated with us, Claire, we could have done this the easy way…_

Claire woke up in tears, barely able to breathe. She had never been more frightened in her life. Her first instinct was to scream for help but decided against it. She knew the entire camp would come just to offer useless words of comfort then dismiss her like a scared child who claimed there was a monster in the closet. No, she didn't need them. She would find the strength to face the fear on her own.

She tip-toed to Aaron's side and swaddled him in his blanket, just as Locke had taught her. She moved to the corner of her tent as far away from the entrance as she could get and eased herself to the ground, clinging as tightly to Aaron as she could without waking him. She closed her eyes and pulled her knees to her chest, praying silently, _Please give me the strength to get through this night, Please…_

She heard a noise outside the tent and froze in terror when she saw the flap slowly being pulled open from the outside as the light of the moon cast a shadow of the person who was on the other side.


	8. Chapter 8

It was the first night in weeks that the old woman from the jewelry shop had visited Desmond's dreams and this time what she said to him was especially alarming. As soon as he walked through the door of the shop, she confronted him in a combative tone. _How many times do I have to tell you? You're not going to be with Penny. Someone else needs you, Desmond._ Desmond was confused. _What? Who… _The woman responded forcefully, _Now, Desmond! You have to go! She needs you!_ Before he could say anything else, he awoke in a cold sweat with a burning feeling deep inside of him. _Claire._

Desmond got to his feet frantically and quickly threw his shirt on, not bothering with shoes. He still couldn't believe a woman that he didn't even know could have such an effect on him but he had stopped trying to deny it. Their kiss had ignited feelings inside him that had long ago been numbed by the pain that had overwhelmed his life—feelings that he wasn't sure were ever there to begin with.

He had respected Claire's wishes and given her space since she had confronted him. Before Charlie told Locke that he was going on the rescue mission, Desmond had actually planned to go with them but when Hurley informed everyone that Charlie and Claire had broken up, he knew he couldn't leave her alone. Jin and Bernard would have made sure she was okay, but he wasn't willing to take a chance after everything that had happened to her.

The reflection of the full moon on the water cast an eerie glow over the stillness of the camp. As Desmond approached Claire's tent slowly, he began to have second thoughts. What if someone saw him and alerted everyone? How would he explain himself? As he inched closer to her tent, he planned to carefully pull the flap back just enough to peek inside so he could rest assured that she was safe.

He carefully lifted the plastic that sheltered Claire from the elements of the island and immediately realized that she wasn't in bed but instead was sitting on the ground, leaned up against a tree trunk that served as the main support structure of her shelter. She was holding Aaron to her chest and had her knees drawn up in a fetal-like position. He pulled the tent flap back a bit more so he could see her better in the light of the full moon. She cowered in the corner shaking violently and looked up at him with tear-filled eyes that broke his heart and burned his soul.

Neither of them said anything. No words were needed. He closed the distance between himself and the broken angel before him. After lowering himself to the ground beside her, he carefully pulled her into his arms so as not to disturb Aaron who was sleeping nestled against his mother's chest. Although she continued to shake uncontrollably and remained with her knees drawn to her chest, she didn't resist him as he held her close wishing that he could somehow absorb her pain.

After a few moments had passed, he felt her violent trembling subside and she fell asleep against his chest. He waited until she had been asleep for some time before he whispered, "I won't let anyone hurt you." He still wasn't sure it was a promise he could keep but he was willing to try with everything in him.

He stayed awake the rest of the night, not taking his eyes off the beauty of what was in his arms. For the first time in Desmond's life, he felt at peace and knew that this was exactly where he was supposed to be.


	9. Chapter 9

Claire and Desmond had finally stopped the pointless charade of denying their feelings for one another. Since the fateful night nearly two months before when Desmond had been her emotional safety net, they had allowed themselves to enjoy the excitement of a new relationship, something that neither of them ever expected to experience again.

After two weeks of scouting the island, the rescue party returned to camp unharmed but unsuccessful. They had encountered some sort of a supersonic security barrier and given up. Even Sayid with his unmatched technical expertise had never seen anything like it.

It seemed that Charlie's participation in the search had given him a new sense of self motivation. Jin had since taught him to fish and he often accompanied Locke on boar hunts and led the group in sing-a-longs by the campfire. Desmond who was teaching him to swim confided in Claire that Charlie reminded him a lot of his middle brother and that he had come to feel a bit protective of him.

Claire was glad that she and Charlie were able to maintain a friendship. He often shared new songs he had written with her and Claire was astonished to hear that since being on the island, he had written enough new material to fill two albums. Claire didn't say anything for fear of hurting Charlie's feelings, but she secretly hoped he would stick to singing backup and let someone else sing lead on those songs should they ever be recorded.

At first, Claire and Desmond were reluctant to flaunt their relationship in front of Charlie and tried to spend time together when Charlie wasn't nearby and avoid prominent displays of public affection. Charlie came to accept the fact that they were a couple, so Desmond ended up moving into Claire's tent at her request and they became inseparable, sharing all of the day-to-day duties such as tending to Aaron, gathering food and doing laundry. At night, they slept with Aaron between them, a habit Claire had hoped to avoid, but couldn't resist. It was the first time in her life she truly felt like part of a conventional family unit with a father, mother and child.

Desmond was a hopeless romantic and would often prepare picnics for the three of them or surprise Claire with flowers. On one occasion, when Rose offered to keep Aaron for the evening they took a bottle of Dharma chardonnay and went to their secluded "spot" on the beach to enjoy the spectacular sunset alone. Desmond gave Claire a decadent foot rub and painted her toe nails with a bright, glossy red polish that he'd borrowed from Sun. They spent the rest of the evening making out on a blanket like teenagers and then regrettably headed back to camp after the sun made its final descent over the water.

Claire's physical attraction to Desmond was sometimes overwhelming. He had been patient with her apprehension to consummate their relationship right away but after awhile, it became too much and they both gave in to the agonizing urge they had for one another.

The first time they made love, Desmond was slow and gentle with her, restraining his fierce desire. Despite being long out of practice, he was a more experienced lover and took her to heights of pleasure she had never been before. Claire thought she had surely died and gone to heaven as he held her and stroked the side of her face just as he had the day he saved her, his deep brown eyes never leaving hers. Afterward, they lay in each other's arms still trembling from the level of fulfillment they had both just reached.

Claire's eyes were still closed as she snuggled close to him. He stroked her hair and took in the peacefulness of her face. When her eyes finally fluttered open, she looked at him shyly. "Hi."

"Hi." Desmond kissed her gently on the forehead. "Are you okay?"

Claire nodded as she slightly raised her head and placed a kiss on his chest, not moving from his embrace. "That was amazing." She rested her cheek on his chest once again.

"Aye," he said lazily as he kissed the top of her head tenderly, continuing to stroke her hair.

After a few moments of silence and basking in the feel of one another, Claire spoke as she traced light circles across his chest with the tips of her fingers. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he replied.

"Promise you won't get upset?"

Desmond's brow furrowed as he pulled away just enough to lean up on his arm so he could get a better look at her face. "I don't think I could be upset with you if I tried. Let's hear it."

"Okay." She paused for a moment, an unsure expression crossing her face. "What happened to you when you turned the key and how did you know I was drowning?"

Desmond's face relaxed but he spoke with a serious tone. "Right before I turned that key, I prayed, I begged God to make this place, this island all a dream or to just kill me and put me out of my misery. Thinking about Penny every day for three years is the only reason I survived and I didn't want to go on another moment without her."

Claire flinched at his words.

"When I turned the key, parts of my life flashed before my eyes—painful things that I never wanted to remember. You see, I broke Penny's heart and that's what prompted the chain of events that lead me to this island. I spent three years wishing I could make things up to her. When I woke up in the jungle after the hatch imploded, something felt different. At first I didn't know what had happened. I found Penny's photograph lying on the ground a few feet away but when I picked it up, I didn't see her…I saw you. But then I saw you drowning. I'd only just met you the day before and I didn't know when or even if it was going to happen, I just knew that a horrible feeling like nothing I'd ever felt before came over me. Just before I pulled you out of the water, that same distinct, horrifying feeling came over me and I knew I had to get to you. Since then, you haven't left my thoughts. I tried to push you away and tried to remember why I loved Penny but I couldn't. And the day you kissed me…I knew I didn't want to live another moment without _you_. I know all of this sounds completely insane but I'm in love with you, Claire. It's like…well, I can't explain it and I'm not even sure that it can be explained."

Claire breathed a sigh of relief and smiled sweetly at him. "Well, if you're insane, then so am I."

Desmond looked at her adoringly before taking her in his arms and making love to her once again.

* * *

Because entertainment on the island was limited, Claire and Desmond had become much closer than what would be typical for a couple in the real world who'd only known each other for such a short period of time. They spent a lot of time talking and sharing their hopes, dreams and disappointments. Despite their age gap and the fact that they seemed to be from different worlds, they had actually came from generally very similar backgrounds, both having grown up in good homes with limited means and both having had their dreams of a promising future thwarted for one reason or another.

Claire who had completed three years of an art degree when she learned of her pregnancy had given up a scholarship that paid her tuition and her dreams of becoming a graphic designer. Thomas insisted that it was logical for him to finish school first and that she could go back once he was working and making a steady income so she dropped out of school and took a job at the Fish 'N Fry to pay the bills. Needless to say, her plans of going back to school never transpired.

After secondary school, Desmond had struggled to work his way through university in London and had just begun to work on his graduate degree in English Literature at Oxford when word came that his father had passed away. He was forced to move home to Scotland since his mother had no way of supporting his three younger brothers on her own. He took a job as a bellman at a posh golf resort which is where he had met Penny who was in Scotland on a business retreat for Widmore Industries.

Claire tried not to think about how her relationship with Desmond might change when and if they were ever rescued but one thing was always in the back of her mind, _Penny_. She knew Penny had been the great love of Desmond's life but he avoided discussing their relationship in great detail. Claire tried to expunge the mental image she had of the photograph of them together by a marina looking happy and vibrant. Even though Desmond professed his undying love for Claire on a daily basis, she knew that her relationship with Desmond was probably lackluster compared to his relationship with Penny who was beautiful, wealthy, successful and refined. Claire imagined that Desmond and Penny had traveled, went sailing and done many other worldly things together that she could only dream of.

The further Claire let herself fall, the more scared she became. She knew when the day came that they were rescued, she may have to face her fear that Desmond would want to go back to his life with Penny, but she decided to enjoy herself for the time being and live with the dismal but comforting hope that they might be on the island forever.

* * *

One morning when Desmond, Charlie and Hurley took Aaron along for one of Charlie's swimming lessons, Claire decided to pass on the pile of dirty laundry that needed attention and take advantage of this rare bit of alone time. After picking a small bouquet of colorful wildflowers, she made her way to the lovely plateau that overlooked the sea. As she topped the hill, she caught sight of five wooden crosses that triggered in her a deep sadness as well as an indescribable calm. She stopped when she reached the cross bearing a shiny ornamental object and bent down to examine it. She realized it was a necklace with a ballerina charm which seemed to her a very fitting memento for the graceful person who was buried there.

When Claire first met Shannon, she was a bit envious of her. Shannon represented the type of girl Claire knew she would never be with her cute outfits, perfect hair and aloof personality. Claire's opinion of Shannon began to change when Shannon ended up being the only one who had the guts to tell her about Ethan's threat on the camp. Perhaps it was because of that or the fact that Shannon had isolated herself from the other survivors with her bitchy attitude that the two of them gradually formed a friendship. They had several heart-to-heart conversations, mostly about relationships and past heartbreaks. Claire came to realize that she had severely misjudged Shannon and that her polished exterior was just a mask for her pain and insecurities. Claire's only regret was not getting to know her better.

After gently allowing the tiny golden dancer to fall from her fingers back into place, she placed the flowers by the marker and sat down beside the grave that now had small sprigs of green peeking through the soil.

Claire paused for a moment before speaking. "I really wish you were here to be blunt with me about this. See, there's this guy…I just met him but it's like I know he's my soul mate and we're meant to be together." Claire rolled her eyes and laughed to herself, looking around to make sure no one was around. "You know…all that crazy bullshit that doesn't really exist."

When she stopped for a moment to let her mind wander, she felt a presence behind her and turned to see Sayid approaching with a bouquet that was twice the size of hers.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Claire said as she started to stand. "I didn't expect anyone to be here this time of day."

"I can come back," Sayid began to turn around.

"No, stay," Claire insisted. "I could use the company…unless you'd rather just be alone, then I can go."

"If you're sure you don't mind, I'll join you."

"I insist," replied Claire.

Sayid came around to sit next to Claire still clutching the flowers in his hand then looked at Claire solemnly. "It was very nice of you to come here. I'm not sure that many people other than Hurley and I come this way very often."

"Do you come here every day?"

"Not every day, no." Sayid lowered his head. "Today is a very special day though."

Claire crooked her eyebrow in curiosity. "What's that?"

"She would have been twenty-one today."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

Sayid just nodded.

_Twenty-one._ Even though Claire knew that Shannon was a couple of years younger than her, Shannon just seemed so much more knowledgeable and sophisticated than her. Until Sayid spoke the words, it had never really registered to her just how young Shannon actually was. The sheer tragedy of Shannon's untimely death suddenly hit Claire like a ton of bricks. She had only just begun to live.

A few moments passed in silence before Claire finally spoke. "How did you know you loved her, Sayid?" She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

Sayid looked her in the eyes and Claire could almost feel his pain when she looked into their deep, dark depths. "I didn't know right away. When we crashed, I was on my way to find a woman that I hurt very badly long ago. My relationship with Shannon was quite unexpected. She was unlike anyone I have ever met. Being with her gave me hope and made me feel alive again, so I gave her my heart. Just before she died we were fighting and she told me she was scared I would leave her once we left the island." Sayid stopped for a moment, his eyes glistening with tears.

Claire felt her heart break for him.

Sayid took a deep breath clearly struggling not to break down in front of her. "I told her I loved her and that I would never leave her. I meant that with all my heart and I thank Allah every single day that I was able to tell her before…"

Claire scooted closer to Sayid and put a comforting hand on his shoulder as he stared at Shannon's grave, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "She loved you too, you know."

"I know." She saw a hint of a reminiscent smile cross his lips. She was just about to tell Sayid about the last conversation she'd had with Shannon when he surprised her with his next words.

"She didn't have to say it. I knew she was scared I would hurt her just as she'd been hurt before. That's why I tried to take things slow with her. I wanted to let her know that I wasn't like the others."

It was as if Sayid had read Claire's mind. About a week prior to Shannon's death, she had confided in Claire that she was falling head over heels for Sayid but was worried that he would just do the same thing that all the guys in her life had done previously.

"What about the other woman? Do you still want to find her?" Claire asked.

Sayid pondered the question for a moment. "I don't know. I know I was never really in love with her, just the idea of her. I'm not saying that I could never love her but it wouldn't change what I felt…what I still feel for Shannon."

After sitting with Sayid in silent reflection for a little while longer, Claire left him alone at the cemetery. Oddly enough, she felt like a cumbersome weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It amazed her that Sayid had known Shannon was scared of being hurt. It made her wonder if Desmond was aware of her insecurities.

Sayid had helped her so much. She only hoped that she had also helped him by offering a compassionate ear and a kind word. He was always so private and emotionally withdrawn but she knew better than anyone that sometimes just opening up and talking about things did a world of good.

Just before she reached the edge of camp, Charlie startled her when he came running out of nowhere at warp speed, smiling from ear to ear. "We're being rescued!" He stopped in front of her, trying to catch his breath. "A rescue boat just docked on the other side of camp! Can you believe it?!"

She felt like the wind had just been knocked out of her. A rescue boat—it was all she had hoped for and all she feared.


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here's the final chapter. I'm a little bummed because I've really enjoyed writing this fic, but I'm planning to write an epilogue. Thanks to all for reading!!**

Lyrics that I thought went well with this chapter from _Times Like These_ (acoustic version) by Foo Fighters:

_I am a new day rising  
I'm a brand new sky  
to hang the stars upon tonight  
I am a little divided  
do I stay or run away  
and leave it all behind?_

_it's times like these you learn to live again  
it's times like these you give and give again  
it's times like these you learn to love again  
it's times like these time and time again_

After a week at sea on a U.S. Naval ship, the survivors came to port in Fiji's capital city of Suva. They found out that Jack, Kate and Sawyer along with "the Others" who the navy officer referred to as a "a group of revolutionary American research scientists," had been taken into federal custody. The officer didn't tell them just what type of research had been conducted on the island but the general consensus of speculation among the survivors on the ship was that it involved some sort of ethically questionable medical testing.

Just before disembarking, the captain announced that many of their loved ones would be waiting and that they would be given food and clothing vouchers compliments of Oceanic Airlines at the hotel where they were staying that night. The next day they would be re-routed by air or sea to the destination of their choice.

As Desmond and Claire walked down the gangway, Desmond saw something he thought he would never see again—civilization. Desmond carried Aaron and a small carryon that served as a makeshift diaper bag while Claire rolled a large suitcase containing most of their belongings behind her and had a carryon draped over her shoulder that held miscellaneous items such as her journal and Desmond's copy of _Our Mutual Friend_.

The port was packed with people. The survivors exchanged tearful goodbyes and bid, what was in some cases, their final farewells to one another then slowly began to intermix with the waiting crowd to be reunited with family and friends.

When Desmond and Claire reached a bench where they could sit their things down and attempt to pacify Aaron who was growing increasingly fussy, Desmond heard a shrill female voice behind them.

"There she is! Oh my God! Claire!" An Asian girl that looked to be about Claire's age with long, dark hair ran up and embraced Claire, squeezing her tightly.

With tear filled eyes, Claire shrieked, "Rachel! I've missed you so…Mum!" Claire spotted an attractive, middle-age, blonde woman and immediately pulled away from the girl and ran into the woman's outstretched arms.

"My baby girl." Her mother held her and stroked her hair, both of them crying freely. "I never thought I'd see you again. Let me look at you." She pulled away just far enough to hold Claire's face in her hands. "You are so beautiful, my darling girl." She smoothed back the tear-soaked strands of hair that were sticking to Claire's face when she suddenly caught a glimpse of Aaron. "Is this my grandchild?"

Claire nodded. "Mum, Rachel, this is Aaron…and this is Desmond." Her mother approached Aaron with an awe inspired look in the same blue eyes that had become so familiar to Desmond.

Right away, Rachel offered her hand to Desmond enthusiastically. "I'm Rachel. Claire and I have been best friends for…well forever."

"Pleased to meet you, Rachel" said Desmond smiling and shaking her hand firmly.

"And I'm Claire's mother, Carol." Desmond offered to shake her hand but she caught him off guard when she leaned in to hug him instead. "Anyone who's taken such good care of my daughter and grandson deserves a hug." Desmond immediately felt a sense of nostalgia from the welcoming warmth of her embrace. Although it had been years since he had experienced such a feeling, it reminded him very much of the way his own mother hugged him.

The four of them spent the next half-hour catching up. Claire was quickly brought up to date on all the news from Sydney while Carol and Rachel took turns alternating between holding Aaron and asking Desmond a million questions about himself. After awhile, Desmond decided to give the trio some time to themselves so he offered to take their luggage to the hotel room and collect their food vouchers so they could go get some lunch.

Claire groaned in pleasure. "Mmm food….I'm dying for a cheeseburger, fries and a fountain soda…with ice," she said giggling like a giddy teenager.

"Well, I'll be quick then." He smiled at the cuteness of her request and then gave her a peck on the forehead before taking the luggage and heading into the hotel which was right on the harbor.

As he walked away he heard Rachel say, "Gosh Claire, he's a hottie. And that accent…" He chuckled to himself at her description of him.

When Desmond reached the front desk of the hotel to check in and collect the food vouchers the desk clerk informed him that his mother and brothers would be arriving from Europe later that afternoon. He was told on the ship that even though he hadn't been in the plane crash, Oceanic was paying for his accommodations, expenses and transportation as if he had been; however, as the desk clerk explained, since he hadn't been on the plane's manifest he had sort of fallen through the cracks and the coordinators responsible for contacting family members hadn't made his family's arrangements until late the day before.

The news brought him a feeling of inexplicable joy. He had missed his family so much and every day he spent on the island he thought about the grief they had experienced when he was probably presumed dead and wished there was some way he could let them know he was okay. It was hard to imagine that he would actually be seeing them in a few hours.

After putting their luggage in the hotel room, he was walking through the hotel lobby back toward the port when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Desmond?"

He turned slowly to see the face that had haunted him for three, long years. Even after he had fallen in love with Claire, he often wondered what it would be like if he ever saw her again. It was strange but after all the time he had spent tormenting himself, seeing her didn't have the earth-shattering effect that he expected it to.

"Penny."

"I saw you when you came off the ship but I didn't want to approach you until you were alone." Her eyes were filled with hurt and confusion.

"Penny…I..I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, but…"

"Who is she? The woman…and the baby you were with?"

"That is Claire and Aaron."

"You have a child?"

He thought of explaining the situation but there was no need. He knew it would only further complicate her feelings. "Yes."

She stared at him as if waiting for further explanation and when nothing came she asked, "Are you happy, Desmond?"

"Yes."

Penny looked stricken when he answered the question with one simple word. Her eyes searched his face for more—something, anything, but there was nothing left to say. He had given his heart to someone else.

"So this is it?" she asked, tears brimming in her eyes.

Desmond felt horrible and searched inside himself for appropriate words of comfort for the woman who had, at one time, consumed his being but all he found were words that seemed completely insignificant and hardly adequate for the magnitude of the situation. "I'm truly sorry, Penny." As sorry as he was, he knew he was making the right decision.

She closed her eyes for a moment as if she were willing herself to be strong. "I'm glad you're finally happy, Des."

Desmond felt a twinge of sorrow in his soul and the painful sting of tears in his eyes when the woman who had not given up on him reached up and touched his cheek before quickly turning to leave. As he watched Penny walk away, he realized that even though she had loved him with all her heart, her family and friends would always work to make him feel inadequate and he would never be completely satisfied with her. It wasn't anything she had done—it was just a basic fact. Being with Penny had been his weakness but Claire was his strength.

"Goodbye Penny," he whispered in sentiment as he turned his back on that chapter of his life and headed toward the port and his future that was waiting there.

When Desmond reached the port, he caught sight of Claire, Aaron, Carol and Rachel just where he had left them. Claire was sitting on the bench holding Aaron on her lap and listening intently to whatever her mother and Rachel were talking about. As Desmond got closer, he saw Claire place a sweet kiss on the top of Aaron's head and smooth his fine, silky blonde hair, a luminous glow surrounding them.

At that moment he knew what his destiny had been all along. When the woman in the jewelry shop, whether real or just a figment of his imagination, had told him that coming to the island, pushing the button for three years and turning the fail-safe key was the only truly great thing he would ever do, she may have been right. He knew one thing she said had definitely been right about—he hadn't gone to the island because he chose to. He went because he was supposed to. After a life full of trials and tribulations, he had ultimately found peace and happiness with Claire and Aaron and no longer needed approval from Charles Widmore or anyone else. All that mattered was that Claire loved him and they were a family and, in his opinion, these were the things that truly made him a great man.


	11. Epilogue

Claire, who was running late as usual, climbed the stairs of the subway station and began her three-block walk as quickly as she could in designer flats that looked deceptively comfortable. She was on her way to meet her lovely husband for dinner to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary and had gotten tied up at work then stopped by to talk to a couple of her co-workers on the way out. Even though her husband often scolded her about her notorious tardiness, it was a nasty habit that she just couldn't seem to break. He had probably picked Aaron up from school, dropped him off at the sitter and been waiting patiently for her at the restaurant for the past half-hour.

As she wove her way through the crowded sidewalk, the sound of her shoes clicking against the pavement, she began to reflect on her marriage and the way her life had fallen into place.

After being rescued and readjusting to the real world and a small flat in Sydney, she and Desmond enrolled at the University of Sydney to finish their respective degrees—hers in art and his in literature. They used money from their part-time jobs and income from an investment account that Claire opened with the settlement she received from a class action suit against Oceanic Airlines. Her mother who had retired from her job as a librarian babysat Aaron whenever she was needed.

Claire, who went through a very mild custody battle with Thomas early on, tried to convince him to sign over his rights to Aaron. Even though she felt like Aaron deserved to know his biological father, she knew Thomas' motives weren't in Aaron's best interest. Desmond stood by her and supported her through the ordeal, but didn't pressure her one way or another. Once the judge assured Thomas that he would never be able to stake a claim to Claire's or Aaron's settlement money from the plane crash, Claire's doubts were confirmed when he gladly agreed to sign the papers terminating his parental rights. She finally felt like she was completely free from the demons of her past.

The day Claire and Desmond chose to finally exchange vows turned out to be perfect. The ceremony took place on a beach in Sydney and was a casual affair. Claire wore a simple, ivory dress with her long, golden waves loosely pinned back, allowing wisps of blonde to frame her face. Desmond never looked more handsome, wearing a light-colored, linen suit with his white shirt slightly unbuttoned to contrast perfectly with his bronze skin. Aaron, who was three at the time carried the wedding bands and proudly donned a miniature version of Desmond's attire.

Charlie attended the wedding and brought a lovely, sweet girl named Lucy as his date. During the reception, Claire and Charlie had a long conversation about the past and how things had worked out for a reason. Claire was shocked to hear about Charlie's past with Lucy, how he'd met her and that his drug addiction had ruined their relationship. Charlie told Claire that even though things hadn't worked out between them, she had helped give him the strength to overcome his past mistakes and ultimately the courage to approach Lucy again. Lucy had reluctantly accepted him back into her life and he was thinking of proposing.

Jin and Sun, who eventually settled in Los Angeles with their son and newborn twin daughters, were the only other survivors to attend the wedding. Sun was working as a freelance English-Korean translator and Jin was working in hotel management at the famous Beverly-Wilshire Hotel.

About a month after Claire and Desmond were married, Desmond adopted Aaron as his own. Aside from their wedding day, it was the happiest day Claire could remember.

Once Claire obtained her baccalaureate degree in art, she contemplated a career in graphic design but decided she preferred fashion design instead. She enrolled in the Whitehouse Institute of Design in Sydney while Desmond, who had since received a graduate degree in English Literature, decided to go forward and pursue his Ph.D.

After finishing design school, Claire was offered a promising position in New York's Garment District working with a top, up-and-coming designer that she was introduced to by her favorite instructor and mentor. After many long discussions and weighing the pros and cons of the opportunity, Claire, Desmond and Aaron got their U.S. visas and moved to the Big Apple.

The trio settled in a two bedroom flat in Morningside Heights, a thriving neighborhood on the Upper West Side near Columbia University where Desmond finished his Ph.D. and worked as a teaching assistant. Upon graduating with his Doctorate, he was offered an open position as a lecturer in the English department at Columbia and had since taken a position there as an Assistant Professor of English and Literature.

Although complementary of one another, she and Desmond couldn't have been more different. She laughed to herself as she remembered the day when Desmond came home to find her unpacking boxes when they first moved to New York, a Smashing Pumpkins CD from her goth days blasting from the stereo. He teasingly told her that she was corrupting their son by subjecting him to such noise. She playfully responded that at least he wouldn't turn into a sappy, boring dolt like his father.

The ability to joke about their differences was one of things that kept the fire in their relationship. Even though Claire often gave Desmond a hard time, she couldn't have been more proud of him. In her eyes, he was the perfect man.

In addition to being complete opposites, Claire and Desmond moved in two totally different social circles. Claire would oblige Desmond by putting on bland pant suits and accompanying him to dull dinner parties with the academic-types that he associated with. On the contrary, she would often drag him along to eclectic hangouts with the colorful group of friends she had met working in the fashion industry. Desmond would let Claire dress him in stylish clothes that she got as a perk to working for a fashion designer and even though it was a refreshing change from his usual tweed blazers and plain, button-up dress shirts, he still managed to stick out like a sore thumb when they went to trendy spots with her friends. Despite being on opposite sides of the spectrum, one thing neither group tired of hearing was stories of how the couple had first met.

Claire loved their life in New York. She loved the hustle and bustle of the city and the energy in the air. She and Desmond were both happy in their careers and Aaron, who was in third grade, was an intelligent, outgoing child who loved school and had lots of friends. He even had a "girlfriend" that was in his class and lived in the building across the street.

The downside to living in New York was only getting to see their respective families twice a year. One year they would visit Claire's family in Australia and Desmond's family would come to New York from Scotland and the next year, vice versa. Although not ideal, the arrangement worked out well for everyone involved. They had also maintained contact with some of their fellow survivors over the years.

DriveShaft had reunited and, after moving to New York, Claire and Desmond attended a show complete with backstage access. Before the show, Charlie teased Desmond by inviting him onstage as a "special guest" to sing _Even Flow_ and telling him if he put on a flannel shirt and Doc Martens, the crowd would never know the difference. Desmond just looked confused but Claire laughed so hard she nearly snorted. After the show, Claire, Desmond, Charlie and Lucy, who had since became Charlie's wife, went out for a lovely, late-night dinner.

As often as she could, Claire visited Rose and Bernard who, after living a couple more years in the Bronx, moved to upstate New York. Rose let her know that their door was always open for Claire if she ever felt like she needed to get away and she had taken her up on the offer a couple of times. It was nice to know she had someone like Rose fairly close by since her own family was on the other side of the world.

Hurley, Locke and Jack had all returned to the Los Angeles area. Claire was updated on the happenings in Hurley's life whenever she talked to Charlie and she and Desmond had lunch with Locke while visiting Jin and Sun in Los Angeles one summer.

She didn't know what became of Sawyer but she heard through the grapevine that Kate was given a light sentence for cooperating with the feds in the investigation of "the Others" and was currently scheduled to be released from prison somewhere in the Midwest. Although Claire had not taken any steps to find Kate, she hoped to eventually track her down.

About a year before, Claire thought she'd seen Sayid walking near Central Park hand in hand with a striking woman that appeared to be of Middle Eastern descent. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part because the couple disappeared into the masses before Claire could get across the street. It had been a bittersweet moment for her as she vividly remembered the talk she'd had with Sayid the day they were rescued. She sincerely hoped that he had found happiness.

As Claire approached the outdoor café that was her and Desmond's favorite place to eat in the city, she caught sight of him sipping a glass of wine and looking handsome as usual. For their anniversary, she was planning to surprise him with news that she was pregnant. Since becoming settled in their careers, they finally decided to start trying for a baby and she knew Desmond would be ecstatic. For her own sanity, she hoped this pregnancy was less eventful than her first.

When Desmond saw her approaching he stood up from the table and glanced at his watch. She looked at him with a doe-eyed, sweet expression she knew he couldn't resist. "Am I late?"

He smiled and kissed her on the cheek as he pulled her chair out. "Right on time, sweetheart."


End file.
